The Second Key to Living Successfully with a Difficult Spouse
This is a continuation of a 7-part article starting with the previous blog post.
Learning to love as Christ did, drove me to my knees in prayer. I had to:
2. Cultivate a close relationship with God. Without this, I wouldn’t have survived my husband’s mood swings and my own emotional seesaw. My relationship with God kept me balanced when my husband was not. During his dark periods, I learned to draw back and let him grapple with his own issues. I tried not to take what he said personally. He often lashed out at the world and those around him, so I gave him his space--- this was difficult for me because I wanted a close, loving relationship.
When we first married, I wore my heart on my sleeve, as my mother observed. Any little mean thing my husband said drove a dagger into my heart. I spent many hours crying out to God. Like the psalmist David---I was honest. I spilled out all the sorrow and pain to Jesus. He became my closest friend. Do I still get hurt? Yes, but I am not devastated as in the past.
Instead, I learned to pray and intercede for my husband, and tried hard not to say much---an enormous challenge for me. Over time, I entrusted my spouse into God’s hands. In doing this, I freed both him and myself. Jesus became the rock I leaned on, not my mate.
I’ve also spent many hours in Bible study learning the Word and memorizing scriptures. Certain verses brought me through the most turbulent years: “He is my refuge and fortress: my God; in Him will I trust ”(Psalm 91: 2) comforted me and gave me strength. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and He shall direct your paths,” (Proverbs 3: 5-6) encouraged me to follow God. “I will never leave you nor forsake you,”(Hebrews 13:5) gave me hope.
In addition, I read books and listened to tapes that strengthened my walk with God. The Lord showed me---I’m not responsible for my husband’s walk with Him, but I am for my own. I’m also in charge of my attitude and can choose to be happy or not. I needed to find joy in knowing God so I could:
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